We talk a lot about being gaslit by others… but what about when we gaslight ourselves?

This week, I realised I was doing exactly that. I set a completely reasonable boundary, but the moment it was met with resistance, I wobbled. I started questioning myself, doubting my feelings, and wondering if I was “overreacting.”

Here are 8 ways we self-gaslight:

• Minimising or dismissing our own feelings.
• Second guessing our memories or perceptions.
• Blaming ourselves for things outside our control.
• Ignoring or invalidating our needs.
• Explaining away mistreatment or disrespect.
• Dismissing our intuition or gut feelings.
• Becoming emotionally confused or disconnected.
• Over rationalising others’ behaviour at the expense of our own wellbeing.

The thing is, self-gaslighting often shows up quietly, in the subtle ways we downplay our needs, question our intuition, or talk ourselves out of what we know is true.

So I paused.
I reminded myself: Your feelings are valid. Your boundaries are allowed. Your needs are real.
And I stood firm.

If you’ve ever found yourself spiralling into self-doubt after asserting a boundary, you’re not alone.